This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
third nipple confirmed
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
