so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
