Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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