They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
