you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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