Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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