handjob tips. give me some.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Randomize
