what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
