I am puke
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Randomize
