I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
