me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Randomize
