I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
And then the night went full on bisexual.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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