doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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