Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
