I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
