I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
