My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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