You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
