it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Houston, we have a squirter
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
