Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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