told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
