great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
