I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
