i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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