glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
