She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
