Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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