the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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