can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Randomize
