The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
