i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
