In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Randomize
