We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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