Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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