so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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