try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
