what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
i came on her dog
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
