You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
She's the barista slut.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
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