nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
