been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
