things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
