Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
