Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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