the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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