I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
