I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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