He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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