he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
