i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
