im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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